i'm here to (un)crush your spirit
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| shintaro kago tummy train... |
rumor tables oh girl do not piss me off fuckin it was-all-a-dream ass device "ohhh get all ur weird ideas out here BUT DON'T WORRY THEY'LL TURN OUT TO JUST BE A MISUNDERSTOOD SYMPTOM OF SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE BANAL!!!!" Mystery machine ass cowardice.
approximately one million percent of the time any kind of dream state/extended metaphor/indulgence in the subconscious would be better served by a writer with the stones to make that shit REAL and then build out from there!
this particularly grated at me in The Substance (2024) where you get the fucking awesome image of Margaret Qualley pulling a chicken leg out of her belly button only to reveal whoops, this movie's weird but not that weird. o beloved lint-picking audience, don't lose faith, that was a dream! things are slightly more dull than they could be!
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| omw to beat your head in and let your dreams out of your idiot skull |
rereading Basic Red in case that sweet darling motherfucker actually makes good on his threat to delete everything. can you imagine the kind of insipid mind would read this list:
2. The Arrow of Erasure lies within. Getting shot with it erases all memory of a lost or forbidden love.
3. No one can enter the larder, stocked with dragon fats, oils, blood, tears, meats, eggs, etc....they never spoil or age, but the door has vanished.
4. The answer to all riddles within is "autumn."
5. The shadow of the Vodehorne sweeps like a clock across the face of the land, scouring it of the unconsecrated dead.
6. Vodehorne was bestowed as a wedding present by a king with no right claim. The bride and groom still journey here, and their taking possession will have horrible wonderful consequences.
7. The Vocehorne crypt contains the Five Sacred Wives, who rise and come to town with prophecies midsummer and midwinter.
8. There is a torture chamber which stalks the halls of Vodehorne, moving from room to room, as if it were located there all along. It follows music.
9. Children who enter Vodehorne become summonable.
10. Secret signs and spells within the turquoise tower contain the mystery of the world milk.
11. Vodehorne is the crown of the one true Vodemarche, star giant and catastrophe.
12. Nets never need mending when trawling through the runoff from Vodehorne.
13. Each stone was stolen from another castle. A different one for each stone. They correspond with their sisters.
14. The number of gargoyles changes from viewer to viewer. No one knows how many are really there.
15. It's never fully dark around Vodehorne, always bright, like a bonfire reflecting off night clouds. (New adventure title: Bonfire of the Night Clouds.) Some think the lord secreted a private sun to power his tower's shadow.
16. The archtower rotates, facing this town or that, as if searching.
17. You never thirst or hunger or tire or sleep within Vodehorne, now Vodemarche is not there to decree that you do. You simply drop where you stand and die for want of well most things.
18. Only the inebriated man may tred the iron jawbridge and not be burned.
19. Another you has lived your life, followed your path, and come to Vodehorne. You will meet her and one of you must die.
20. Dogs roam the grounds, from all kingdoms and worlds. They are only ever glimpsed eating something still alive, dragging it away."
and go "ohhhh good i can make all of this awesome shit normal actually. the players will love the verisimilitude of a villager fibbing far more than they would love the summonable children haunting the turquoise tower of the world milk"
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| your ability to reject the reality of your unconscious mind upsets me |
new Cottonmouth Tenor Girlhood precept:
anything rolled on a rumor table, foreshadowed or otherwise hinted at during play is only ever revealed upon investigation to be stranger and more fucking confusing, horrible or beautiful than expected, NOT fucking LESS jeeeeeeus CHRIST!!!!!!!!!
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| now go stand in the corner. yes the one with the creature |
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