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| let's party with frank dorrey |
beer-soaked grunt
pathetic caveman
he treads in the footprints of sauropods.
partyboy, watch your step. im on your ass
like a kingpin shark. im gonna rip
out your throat. i’m gonna feed
you to army ants. im gonna sell
your fingerprints to a deepfake website.
he watches his step. he holds his neck together. he thinks
everything looks like a bluetooth speaker.
im gonna chew broken glass in front of your face partyboy.
im gonna slam a pencil clean
through my skull. my mouth
plays his music. partyboy forgive me
partyboy i’ll baptize you
in this field of thousands
of poisonously pink flowers
with cough syrup
champagne and the sky
gone jurassic and huge.
***
at the center of every party is an idiot zen partyboy. everyone at the party, including you, wants to be as close to the partyboy as they can get. you and the ants are the only ones who want to eat them.
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| look im skeptical too but every ai checker i used thinks these are real i hate this stupid world |
on your turn, you can take one action with each of your body parts
- mouth
- nose
- right hand
- left hand
- legs
on a one, roll to see why you failed
someone is...
- trying and (1: succeeding, 2: failing) to do the same thing
- trying to sell you something
- freaking the fuck out and attacking you
- hitting on you
- trying to get you to do them a favor
- confusing you for someone else in order to (reroll)
at
the end of your turn, you have an x:6 chance to start suffocating,
where x is the number of actions you took that you'd already taken in
this ring.
if you start suffocating, you fall to your hands and
knees and can't do anything on your turn but suck at air and you'll die
in 3 turns. doing drugs you have not done before at this party fixes
this, though someone will have to give them to you since you can't do
anything on your own.
you've got nasty serrated shark teeth behind your boring flat chompers
and your jaw can hinge your head nearly in half. 1:6 chance you can bite
someone's throat. +1 for each of the following: within handshake
range, exposed throat, wearing more designer items than you.
if you bite someone's throat, you can tear it out if you or they move. you can talk clearly with your mouth full.
if your blood spills on the ground it blossoms into a patch of pink peonies.
while in the 3rd ring, 2:6 chance there's something soft and pink wherever you are.
2nd ring, 4:6
3rd ring, 6:6
if there is, 1d6 for how large/pervasive it is, with 6 being nearly unavoidable, and 4:6 chance there's a kingpin shark:
- scromiting jets of blood
- hyperventilating, frantically bruise blue
- covered in glistening oily open sores
- swollen like a pussballoon
- choking on their fat bloody tongue
- stone dead and peaceful
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| me personally id listen to her |
if you hurt yourself in front of a someone, they will do a favor for you, so long as it hurts them only about half as much as you hurt yourself.
 |
| the energy of anger!!!!! |
anything can be survived as long as the person takes action to physically hold their body together.
 |
| i may have to forgive the dutch after all... |
designers
- Versace
- Gucci
- Yeezy
- Coach
- Marc Jacobs
- Ralph Lauren
- Prada
- Saint Laurent
- Bottega Veneta
- Balenciaga
- Comme des Garçons
- Iris Van Herpen
- shoes
- lingerie
- skirt
- pants
- shorts
- shirt
- jacket
- belt
- dress
- glasses
- hat
- fragrance
aesthetics
- prep
- skatepunk
- goth
- cybersigilism
- babygirl
- eclectic grandpa
- clubkids
- indie sleaze
- apocalyptic
- afrofuturism
- twee
- techwear
descriptors
- stiff
- blinding
- deafening
- sharp
- ephemeral
- scratchy
- tight
- chunky
- slinky
- hairy
- scaly
- gigantic
- minuscule
- industrial grade
- metallic
- woke
- problematic
- plush
- trailing
- baroque
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| true love will find you |
you can only ever get closer to the partyboy by both:
- successfully making the party in your current ring about you if you INSIST on a procedure for this, the party your current ring is about you when you've overheard somebody discussing your antics (1/2/3/4) different times, determined by ring. when you eavesdrop someone is discussing you x/6 times where x is the number of reasons they have to do so.
- taking someone's place in the next ring. this means that you must make someone leave their current ring so that you may enter.
In
order to get into the party at all you must make the line outside about
you, and take the place of someone in the third ring.
while you
can physically go anywhere in the party, if you don't belong there,
people will try to kick you out. the members of the first ring will go
somewhere else to avoid you, even potentially ending the party and
leaving. in order to belong in a ring, you must enter it from the
previous ring; no skipping the line.
 |
| 😂 bro who did this 😂 but literally im asking 😂 |
bouncer: joal skeleton the invulnerable man (in a pinch calls his buddy, sergeant bytheway. can't be hurt by mortal instruments. fears ibrahim termination)
sergeant bytheway (constable and a buffoon, fears accidentally walking into a construction site again)
- jellaby schmuck (very cheerful, falls over constantly. fears serious harm.)
- sticky harmer (skin like a sweaty fly trap, shaking with rage. fears a dust storm.)
- the loose duke (gambling addict. fears their wife will leave them.)
- peter doubt (cannot commit to or be convinced of anything. fears having the wrong opinion.)
- vance girder (convinced there will not be a bathroom inside, offers diapers to all. scared that there will be a bathroom inside.)
- thug trilby (one day he'll be a Hollywood mafia star. fears his capo who is also his agent.)
- boaby joabby (trying really really hard to hide that he's really really hard. fears he took too many pills.)
- rupert toobs (gentleman boxer. fears ibrahim termination and wants to face his fears.)
- grunk trad (trying to form a commune. fears the apocalypse.)
- the bump (doesn't say anything but peeps at u furtively. fears their mother.)
- pim twitch (popcorn influencer and partial owner on a platform you've never heard of, called Skibbits. fears Skibbits is going under.)
- swank polyp (shuffling back and forth, trying to get everyone's attention but gets talked over. fears getting left out and also ibrahim termination.)
- squnge plod (owns a car wash to launder money for his illegal dog abortion clinic. fears ibrahim termination's dog)
- peat loaf (comes from below the earth, thinks his brother can get him in. fears moles.)
- wanda round (wants you to hold her place in line. fears ibrahim termination.)
- delia humbug (has a song in her soul, keeps trying to start a wave. fears ibrahim termination.)
- tangela dingfelder (lawyer but not a good one. fears she won't be able to afford to feed her cats.)
- john misunderstood (eternal devils advocate. fears damnation.)
- clive grunt (caveman with a tie. fears his boss, a sabertooth tiger.)
- vermouth besqudgeon (wants to tell you a secret but the secret is that he's gonna lick your ear. fears he'll never understand people. )
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| again i was suspicious when i couldnt find the source but it aint ai |
- heat loaf (scrounging for something to eat but only eats worms, soo embarrassed of his brother. afraid of starvation.)
- pimp doubt (fit an aquarium in his ass and wants to show it off. fears sepsis.)
- alexis hitme (wants you to hit her; if you do, she'll try to get you thrown out. fears pain.)
- mob gaboo (carrying around a full length mirror to preen in. fears the Emperor)
- sugar ray (really insecurely heterosexual. fears boys.)
- lucy snoothe (trying to sell her own gold teeth. fears disapproval.)
- tommy cockadoodle (rise and grind pepper salesman but opening his briefcase makes him sneeze. fears he's unpopular.)
- sibyl ants (just has to dance. even if it breaks all her bones. she heard there's a talent scout here. fears losing her spark.)
- bingo celestia (he's a cowboy and brother everything's a spittoon. fears feral hogs.)
- soapy smith (soap salesman, wants to demonstrate his suds in the shower. fears ibrahim termination)
- gus loratio (wants you to watch him act out his screenplay, The Toucher. fears mediocrity.)
- q'uichaan ruby tuesday (trying to throw a dinner party inside the party. fears his souffle will fall.)
- esmerelda pixiestick (puckish attitude, has no drugs but pretends she does so she can trade. fears being alone with herself.)
- hansel stancel (canceled, wearing paper bag over his head to conceal his identity. fears he'll never be accepted by cis people)
- alabaster vanilla (dresses like a vampire, needs you to fix his phone. fears that his long distance girlfriend is catfishing him.)
- quease mesmer (you do not want to drink his special drink because his special drink is drano. fears litigation.)
- dramamina faretheewell (came back from a European vacation, all her pictures have REAL dragons and unicorns and fairies in them. fears dragons.)
- utopia bandaid (swears that ibrahim termination is a childhood friend, won't leave you alone)
- spunk scam (really earnest, looking for a surrogate but keeps trading up if they think they can get a better one. fears oblivion)
- sophacles brexit (soliloquizing into the wall, which is threatening to collapse. fears the consensus)
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| she'll eat u with that plastic mouth |
- rumpus trombone (jumped off the roof into the pool. now he needs something even taller to jump from. fears his father)
- snooze bufant (giving haircuts. fears lesbians)
- amaretto divine (6 fingers on each hand, razor sharp teeth, only drinks martinis. fears ibrahim termination)
- emory sangria (is bleeding from a head wound and won't admit it. fears that everyone knows.)
- greyson asp (mercedes dealer really slowly driving their benz around the party. has the keys to the city. fears physical violence)
- ibrahim termination (from the future, needs to kill. has a dog with the same name and desires as him. fears it won't be enough. )
- netsuco coakly (total sweetheart, sewed her own dress, is altering everyone else's whether they like it or not. fears broken mirrors.)
- amari monroe (short curly bleach blonde hair, marschino cherry dangling from their mouth, canceled hansel stancel. fears ostriches)
- cardamom eleganza (cocktail dress, antennae like a bug, can sense peoples fears. fears that everyone thinks her antennae are weird.)
- judy weimar (strong enough to pick up everyone else at once. fears osteoporosis)
- julius naranaja (firmest handshake in the world, everyone from ring 2 has invested in his adult hot wheels startup. fears the irs.)
- mussolini chess (smartest most evil man in the world but unfortunately he looks like it so nobody fw or listens to him. fears ibrahim termination)
- alyssa quadratini (there's an alyssa quadratini wherever you go no matter who you talk to)
- ham cider (really really mean girl who you think is nice because she makes you autistic. fears emotional vulnerability.)
- marvin halfway (soaking wet, everyone needs to take care of him. fears success.)
- angelica tomorrow (isn't here yet but everyone's excited for her arrival. fears getting stuck in traffic.)
- darius apocalypse (really nice guy, he's got a bear in his car he's really excited to show everyone. fears nothing)
- january feburary (underage Olympian, wearing ice skates indoors. fears global warming.)
- ponder sloan (everyone in ring 2 is smoking one of his earl grey cigarettes. fears the horrors of the deep)
- brique licorice (has a big python who has clearly eaten someone. fears someone will cut their python in half with a big katana)
 |
| alright now u can hang |
- willa rest (gm secret cop, looking for an excuse to leave so she can call in backup. fears accountability and antifa super soldiers)
- july maserati (pimp who throws knives. fears august pendergast, the chainmail pimp)
- amadeus bovine (the world's greatest bowler. fears he'll never see a society based on bowling)
- gertrude winnebago (big hat, 21 brothers, been everywhere, knows your whole family. fears memory loss)
- monty ray-jack (he's like an old fashioned pirate but he raids nuclear submarines. glows a bit. fears blackbeard)
- beep squeak (the world's smallest secret agent. undercover as a bottle cap. fears bigfoot)
 | |
|
if the partyboy dies, the party is over.
- a sauropod neck
- bony frill
- long whiplike tail
- dermal plates
- little underdeveloped arms
- colorful feathers
partyboys want to be fed, and it is impossible to deny them without agitating them.
on their turn, a partyboy will ask to eat
- 1d6 handfuls of loose leaf tobacco
- 1d6 bottles of codine
- 1d6 dime bags
- 12 pack of bud lite
- 1d6 bars
- 1d6 tabs
There is a 5:6 chance that one of the five people in the first circle can feed the partyboy. each time you check, reduce the odds by one.
anything a partyboy has touched is valuable, and counts as 3 designer items. if somebody else is wearing one of the party boy's designer items, there is an x:3 chance that the ants mistake that person for the partyboy, where x is the number of the partyboy's designer items.
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| iunno |
ants want to eat partyboys. each round, x:10 chance that a swarm of ants begins to amass around the partyboy, where x is the number of rounds the partyboy has been present. The swarm starts with 10 ants. Once the swarm has begun to form, each subsequent successful check means the swarm has doubled in size. the swarm will eat the partyboy once there are around 20 million ants, or 20 doublings.
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| known and loved <3 |
if there are no dinosaurs at the party, or if all dinosaurs are in the first ring, every round, no matter where, check for dinosaurs. they always come from outside and, like everyone else, obey the rules of the party and start moving towards the partyboy in the first ring. 2:6 chance of 1d6
- Stegosaurus
- Diplodocus
- Archaeopteryx
- Tyrannosaurus
- Velociraptor
- Pterodactyl
- Triceratops
- Ankylosaurus
- Hadrosaurus
- roll
twice and combine (1d6 of each). each time you get this again, multiply
the number of dinosaurs by 2, roll again, and they're stampeding.
when the partyboy is agitated, and his heartbeat speeds up,
if the partyboy is agitated again, actions only succeed on 4-6, and all dinosaurs are actively hostile to everyone but the partyboy.
if the partyboy is agitated a third time, actions only succeed on a 5-6, and the dinosaurs stampede out of the party, taking the partyboy with them.
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