more rooms from this dungeon
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| better luck next time! |
12: false funeral
center
stage. unlit pyre, body atop it in a cardboard crown. five framed
portraits like movie posters leaning against it. a fake window hangs
from the ceiling showing a picture of a beach that looks like it was cut
out of a credit card advertisement. circling, wailing, a crowd of
mourners in black veils that trail to the ground. each portrait is
signed with the person's autograph and cause of death:
Klara Waldrep, burned and poisoned by the Wyrm
Pia Dora, chewed up and spat out by the Wyrm
Nolan Pennycuff, skinned alive by the petitioners of the Deerhide Oracle
Germaine Talamantez, skinned alive by the petitioners of the Deerhide Oracle
Clayton Gamarra, sacrificed by the Goldhead Cult
Pia Dora, chewed up and spat out by the Wyrm
Nolan Pennycuff, skinned alive by the petitioners of the Deerhide Oracle
Germaine Talamantez, skinned alive by the petitioners of the Deerhide Oracle
Clayton Gamarra, sacrificed by the Goldhead Cult
the dead king's actor is really bad at playing dead. he itches his nose, adjusts his crown.
they forget their lines frequently and the king keeps prompting them in a stage whisper.
they think you're doing it and get really fucking annoyed with you, ask if you think you'd do a better job. did you take acting classes??? did you???? get up here then, if you're so fucking sure about what happened.
if you point out that the King is the one prompting them, they'll actually kill him for real. then they'll freak the fuck out and blame you for it.
13: fake beach real water
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| a pool is one of the worst things i know |
backstage, north of false funeral (12).
fake tropical beach, paper mache palm trees with packaged coconut water
dangling from them. sawdust sand on the boards. curtains to the left
and right as well as behind you. ahead, the real actual factual ocean.
little children in monkey onesies scramble all over the place. they'll rob you and give what they steal to cardboard cutouts of dutch merchants, waddled around by more little kids, who, singing happily, load everything onto a real boat and sail away.
the players could sail away too, if they'd like. who knows what's out there? the Thousand Thousand Islands? the island of Daybreak, probably. A distant continent and the City of Ships, eventually.
14: face thief
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| face thief if he was cunt |
Through the curtains on the west of fake beach real water (13). sitting on a bench reading a magazine with blank silhouettes where the models should be, a figure in a hawaiian shirt and pastel shorts talks to you loudly of the lovely weather and how glad he is that this area is beachfront now.
He keeps the newspaper over his face as long as he can, but behind it, he’s got groucho marx glasses, nose and mustache over blank features; his mouth is painted on with lipstick, but moves regardless.
If you get close enough, he’ll stab you with a switchblade, try to cut your face off, and race into the waiting room (7), and try to sell your face.
His knife, if used, lets you slice the faces off of things smoothly and swiftly, and turn them into extremely convincing masks. Looking at your reflection in the knife highlights all of your insecurities and shows you all those hairy moles you half remember.
15: the immaculate cow
the eastmost stage. bloody straw and puddles of milk and an immaculately
perfect cow,
surrounded by wretched, filthy, starving actors in cowhide costumes.
They are debasing themselves as they try to suckle from the cow’s teat.
it's all a
little hammy and overly dramatic.  |
| minotaur surprised while eeeeeaaaating |
they'll pause after a minute to invite you up on the stage; we're looking for a little audience participation. aren't you thirsty? have you ever had milk straight from the cow? from a cow as beautiful as this?
if you drink the cow’s milk you take on the form of any creature or thing you are performing the shape of; the more convincing your performance, the longer lasting the transformation. the actors all imitate cows after drinking the milk, trying to evoke the image of their icon. those that do become cows themselves (though less immaculate) are promptly butchered and eaten raw by their companions. this is real. you can feel the hunger.
16a & b: fragile forest
through curtains to the north of the immaculate cow (15), and garbage love (20), those northeast of maggot bog (17b) and northwest of mimicry club (23). another
stage, really big, almost can't see the curtains to either side and
straight ahead of you. everywhere, hugely tall, fragile, fake trees made
of balsa wood and newspaper and glue. it's cold and you can see your
breath.
in 16b, the sound of clattering, gnashing teeth grinds over everything, making it incredibly hard to focus on what you’re doing and where you’re going. if you don't muffle your ears you have a 3:6 chance of bumping into a tree whenever you move. the sound stems from a single human skull high atop the highest fake tree, which is in 16b. It belonged to Cyra Nelms, a poet so in love with the Violet that even paralysis and now death could not stop her incredibly annoying odes of love.
if any tree is jostled, it falls, and if any tree falls, 3:6 chance it falls on you and 4:6 chance it knocks another tree down too. immediately check for an encounter.
through the cold, moldy curtains to the west of fragile forest (16b) and west of garbage love (20). the floor of the warehouse crumbles into a sewage swamp up to your waist. little chunks of concrete rise above the filth, home to paper mache fruit trees; cherries, apricots, plums.
the fruit is real, and home to millions of real maggot that squirm out of the fruit and down your throat if it gets close to your mouth. there, in your belly, they make you squirt hot acid shit out of your ass, corrosive enough to melt through cement.
ahead, the cesspit continues on to the west, to 17b and then to the quicksilver tree (18). To the south, rotting curtains back to the immaculate cow (15). through curtains to the north of 17b, someone is singing jingles about bloodletting: blooooodletting... there's surely no regretting... slapping a leech on... getting your freak on... bloooodletting...
18: quicksilver tree
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| method actors... |
the end of the cesspit that was once a stage, begun in maggot bog (17a &b). on a hunk of concrete stands a huge woman of wrought iron, with glass thermometer veins full of mercury. her arms and hair reach and twine into branches, her feet stretch into wormy roots that spell the following: sing to me of scenes you would see again. but keep it brief please and thank you. the actress playing the tree is really serious. this is the role of a lifetime for her and all the glass and metal she grafted to herself had better be worth it.
if you describe a place you have been before, her quicksilver will well up and spill out of her mouth in trembling streams to recreate the scene. step into that quivering metal and you will find yourself in that scene, rendered exactly as you spoke of it, different or no.
speaking of it exactly transports you physically to that place; speaking of it inexactly, or using more than 13 words to describe it, transports you to a replica of the scene described, but everything in it is only a hollow skin holding mercury. there is no way to leave the replica without destroying it entirely, which will return you to the foot of the tree.
the tree contains enough mercury to do this 3 times. you can refill her, but this can only be done by filling your mouth with mercury and kissing it into her lips, 3 times per scene you want created.
if you describe a place you have been before, her quicksilver will well up and spill out of her mouth in trembling streams to recreate the scene. step into that quivering metal and you will find yourself in that scene, rendered exactly as you spoke of it, different or no.
speaking of it exactly transports you physically to that place; speaking of it inexactly, or using more than 13 words to describe it, transports you to a replica of the scene described, but everything in it is only a hollow skin holding mercury. there is no way to leave the replica without destroying it entirely, which will return you to the foot of the tree.
the tree contains enough mercury to do this 3 times. you can refill her, but this can only be done by filling your mouth with mercury and kissing it into her lips, 3 times per scene you want created.
19: leech doctor
though the northern curtain in maggot bog (17b), the disgusting sewage swamp continues, now further vexed by saccharine jingles about bloodletting. the lumpy leech doctor sits and sings on a slimy mound of concrete and rebar, offering leeches as a cure-all to every single problem that the party has (and he knows all of their problems, even metaphysical or out of character ones).
the handfuls of leeches he offers in his shiny latex gloves do in fact solve every problem or affliction you have that could be solved by diminishing something; curses gone, irritating crushes gone, big wounds slurped away. one leech can take care of one issue, but they don't let go when it's gone. that's when they start to suck your blood. if you tear them or cut them off, you open up big bloody wounds on yourself and the huge pile of leeches inside the doctors flimy skin can resist no longer and pour out of him to suck you dry.
20: garbage love
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| she probably gets more pussy than me whatever girl whatever. do you think it's ever justified to take a human life |
the crossroads, between the curtains to fragile forest (16a &b) to the north and south, those to maggot bog (17a) to the west, and mimicry club (23) to the east.
the center of the path is piled high with the million rotting notebooks stuffed with the garbage love poems of Cyra Nelms. just inane sentimental trash. the absolute worst. and all dedicated to the Violet in her court (6). myna birds hop around eating the grubs and roaches that eat the paper and making the whole thing much worse by repeating lines they find especially relatable.
the longer you stay here, or immediately, if you read one of the poems in full, the more of your characters skills and statistics are replaced with this garbage. for each such replacement, one of the 4 paths through the curtains instead leads that character to violet's court (6), starting with the path to 16b and continuing on clockwise.
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