tgirl tarot time

the triple T does what it says on the tin. 

 

you could be happy together

i've been really into tarot recently; specifically crowley and lady freida harris' thoth deck. i come by it honestly, inheriting it from the honorable marriage of my mother and the girl reading this <3 (treat her well girls she's a lovely lovely lady)

 

my mother's got the sort of energy that makes ur horrible granddad call her a sorceress and compels sensitive exes to take out loans in the name of buying her a house, and my beloved and largely transexual dweebs hail from the strong tradition of oracular divination that shake rattle rolls thru ttrpgs and, more specifically, the indie artfreak underground scene that gave us d666 tables and solo game divination processes and stuff. 

now, if you read my work for games purposes and new age hippie bullshit with lots of kissing turns you off, i won't be the one to change your mind. but i'm gonna tryyyyy <333. I think that the practice of idea of treating imaginary spaces as real ones is not at all far removed from the practice and understanding of tarot as pattern language, a brain-mapping practice, and a guide to building a soul. and i guess having a soul is important. 

 

you've already got enough bugs in your brain, what's one more

 

to me, tarot is a way to divide my attention and awareness into a tactile system, and an invitation to submit myself to chance and art in order to draw attention to parts of myself i’d otherwise be oblivious to. the symbolic density of the thoth deck, modified by the relationships between the various positions in a given layout, seen through the lens of the question being asked, has consistently given me a much much more holistic understanding of my relationship to myself and to reality in a time where i'm very acutely suffering at the hands of the invisible within me. 

the issue, of course, with practicing tarot on a public platform is that, absent the context of a particular person at a particular point in their life asking a particular question, things can get really abstract and horoscope-y. that's probably unavoidable to some extent, but the closest thing to a workaround i can find is to use a spread where the first card drawn acts as, essentially, a filter for the reader. if the first card does not represent you as you are when you encounter my reading, the subsequent cards will likely be of little value to you. disengage and find something else to do. don't force things. if there is that little electric spark leap of understanding though, i do invite you talk to yourself in this pattern-language, and see where that takes you.

i'm not interested in telling you bullshit about expecting financial windfalls or a whirlwind romance or whatever the fuck. this stuff is instructional, not predictive. identifying the potential in the present. the only kind of prophecy anyone is qualified to make is that you'll live a life, and die. subterranean homesick blues type shit. u don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. i'm talking the talk, you've got to walk the walk.

 

and i'll come with you

Hajo Banzhaf and Brigitte Theiler write that the tarot should be understood as the advice of an elder. To me, this means their foolishness and our resistance to it should be understood as part and parcel with their wisdom. their wisdom, in turn, should be understood as a language they have built to understand the world, but since absolute truth cannot be found in the world, it cannot be found in their language either.

the layout or game i'm going to be using for these more general readings is the cross, which establishes the following relationships. my interpretations are my own, though informed by my mother, crowley's book of thoth  and banzhaf and theiler's keywords for the crowley tarot 

• the right card is where you stand. this is the filter. if you don't pass through it, go no further.
• the left card is what is unimportant. effort put towards this concept is wasted, better used elsewhere.
• the top card is what is important. this is the part of yourself that demands to be understood and made use of.
• the bottom card is why it is important. this modifies the top card and should be used to adjust your understanding of that fragment of your selfhood.
• the quintessence: summed from the previous four cards, a suggestion or immediate first step.

the cross as of 5/28/2025

where you stand, the filter. (right): the emperor. authority over yourself. desire to take responsibility, to engage with what resides in your domain and to expand that territory. clear structure and consolidation of values combined with the flexibility of someone who refuses to let go of the red thread of purpose, and so is willing to contort themselves in order to follow it. Is this where you are?

unimportant (left): 2 of disks. change. the tension between polarities, adjusting your values to encompass the shadow you have been ignoring. this being unimportant to me reads as an affirmation of the sober-minded certainty of the emperor. you're not wrong. your aim is true. contradictions can be allowed to curl up on themselves and disintegrate like newspaper in a fire. the suit of disks deals generally with what is tangible. look to material circumstances to apply this card to rather than emotional or intellectual ones.

important (top): 6 of wands. victory. receptive force, creativity, crowned by stability. tune yourself towards the ways in which you've been recognized, and allow that to become a foundation towards optimism. change being unimportant and victory being important to me seems like a summit, an opportunity to congratulate yourself before attempting something greater. the wands suit speaks of action and initiation; look to what what has been done, and done well.

because (bottom): 9 of wands. strength. the union of polarities, the harmony of the conscious and unconscious, the tangible force felt as opposing magnetic fields draw closer to one another and remain there, stable. in a way, strength is change made personal and actionable. whereas the 2 of disks asks you to look away from one pole in order to see the other, the 9 of wands is about the desire to press those two poles together in order to see them both at the same time. as it relates to the 6 of wands, i think it makes sense to try and see whatever victory you're identifying and indulging in as a united duality. consider what exists on the opposite conceptual ends of that experience and try to identify how those things coexist; they do. allow the sum of those two poles become a new pole in and of itself going forward, and look to what then arises as the natural polar reaction to that new concept; uniting this new set is your next step.

quintessence: the ground of your domain is fertile. ponder the matter; you can't make a seed grow by dragging it up out of the earth with your hands.

ah but wouldn't it be great if you could

there you are. if this turns out to be meaningful in some way, please say so, i'm curious what you can build with these tools. 

 

additionally, if you have a particular specific question you'd like to receive some esoteric transgender advice on, please do feel free to leave that in a comment or dm me on discord (caligari_1989) and I can do a separate layout for you when I do another of these. xoxo and i'm gone.

with a very Jean Paul Gaultier kiss to send u on ur way