the automatic sage: a legend generator for the populating of histories with fragmented wonders

freaky fuckin flute atomoton made by Innocenzo Manzetti in 1849

appropriately enough i unearthed this half finished legend generator from the depths of my files like some fragmented artifact. brushed off the dust and puzzled it back together.

 the automatic sage sputters broken stories once more

Greg Brotherton only valid steampunker

tales from its leaden tongue

Ser Vacla’s Shield
Executed for failing to love the Shivering Queen, Ser Vacla wept tears of diamond, saying "my love would have made but a poor gift; let her grow rich with my grief." Enamored of the dying man's words, the headsman engraved the scene on Vacla’s shield, detailing it with the crystal tears.

The Birth of Star-of-Poison
The hunter Vetla the Tireless let no food but spidersilk pass her lips, granting her unmatched scuttling swiftness. She let her crawling loves lay their eggs within her, and in this way gave ecstatic birth to Star-of-Poison, a great spider and most monstrous of her kind

The Undying Tournament of the Oathless Bishop Dimil
Out of love for a knight that he could not bear to see perish, the Oathless Bishop Dimil began a strange contest. All who entered placed their souls within a gray jewel, that the Bishop might return them to life once their flesh had failed in combat. Within the gem, the souls dreamt of life, and thus escaped the Oathkeepers' call. Tane was betrayed by his love however; the knight stole the jewel and fled, pursued by the Bishop and the soulless flesh of his old compatriots, growing more monstrous with each passing year.

Kryvorceth’s Deception

As the age of Feasting was gnawed to its bitter end, a coalition of the Oathbound Kingdoms assembled to petition the giants to choose a successor. However, unbeknownst to all, Kingfather Promir, progenitor of the Glittering Kings was, in fact, the blighted dragon Kryvorceth, Angel of the Lost. Long believed to have fallen prey to a withering sickness, Kryvorceth’s enchantment was stripped from him by the Sleeping Sybil, and there in the court he fell to the ground, an ancient, wretched worm. The giants, already maddened by the weight of the Swallowed Oath, grew uncontrollably paranoid, banishing all from their court and refusing above all else to relinquish the Oath to another.

Svacik’s Keep
Craven Troll King Svacik raised a castle atop the mountain and thus escaped the depths. How the darkness pulled at him, promising to drag his keep below the earth, to tear his sky away from him. And so in stark ceremony he wed Breath-of-Dawn, daughter of the Eastern wind. That night, in his chamber, Svacik sacrificed her to the stones of his keep, her blood abating the hungry earth. Now her brothers scream forever in a gale around Svacik’s keep, prying at its stones, seeking to free their sister's soul.

The Crown of the Blackpowder King

It is said that when the Blackpowder King finally fell to the forces of the Shivering Queen, his soul was heretically bound within his crown as a gift for her ailing majesty. On the triumphant voyage home however, disaster struck. Bandits attacked the envoy, pillaging it mercilessly and carrying off the crown. Now, the Blackpowder King lives again, his bound soul overpowering that of any lesser being who wears the crown. He holds court in the mud and thorns of the wilderness, forcing his men to recreate the splendors of his former life, and arming them with Blackpowder weapons, being unmatched in the art of their creation.

Vojta’s Treachery
To defeat Iron Witch Chandang-Gul and claim her invulnerable hide, Nedda the Thrice Buried sought the advice of Vojta, Chanting Healer and brother of the Sleeping Sybil. Vojta revealed that only through the burning of certain herbs could the witch be soothed to slumber, and thus skinned. Nedda would then clamber into the skin, while the healer’s chanted Oathspeech commanded her pain to lay dormant so she would not awaken. However, Nedda was deceived. Upon donning the skin, she found herself trapped within it, the skin bound to Vojta’s will. Chandang-Gul was in fact not the original wearer of the skin, and Vojta had promised to free her from it in return for control over it and its new host.

The Imprisonment of Etach
Etach-Jura, Lord of the Upper Air, is imprisoned as a songbird in a birdcage in the Cathedral of Dust, built by the giants to imprison the 5 Great Guilts, Demons unbound by the Oath. There they are kept in passive supplication through the endless droning of chants of worship. Should the Guilts ever escape, ruin should befall all, as the five together possess the strength to destroy the Swallowed Oath. Etach was the first of the Guilts to be imprisoned, and it was with the sound of his song, torn from his throat by Giant sorcerers, that the other Guilts were lured to their doom.


  1. Awesome! Let's see what it'll say to me:

    The statues at shiver-coast
    Around the mountains there are a lot of statues that depict the fox empress. Many that show her as a great ruler, others display her impressive archery skills and some even show her as a godhead. But on the shiver coast however, the region where the empress once was born, there are only statues showing her as a baby. And not in a glorious or poetic way. But as a crying, confused, wrinkled, little thing. Disoriented and in desperate need of help. Like the way we all look, when we are thrown into this wild and loud world. There are hundreds of these stone infants at the shiver coast and the fox empress left them all intact. Moreso, for the entire time of her regency she visited the statues once a year. To repent. To remember what she was and will be without the help of others. Some said it made her weak, some said it made her wise. Who knows. She’s gone for a long time now, but the statues are still there.


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